Want to look smarter?

If you're anything like me, sometimes you want to appear smarter than you look/sound. A simple solution that doesn't involve actually learning anything new? Fake glasses! 

You still might not be able to partake in intellectual conversations involving art or politics, but at least you can sit there silently with a ponderous expression on your face while looking off into the distance...all the while looking like a genius. People will be like yeah, she gets it. With glasses and the careful mastering of the right facial expression, you'll have everyone fooled.

Do I actually need glasses? Nooo, of course not (I got Lasik when I was 20)! But, do I instantly look 10x smarter in them? Heck yes I do.

In fact, just yesterday when I put my fake glasses on, my dad looked at me quizzically admiringly and said "I've never met anyone quite like you." I think what he meant was "I've never met anyone who had so many untapped, great ideas."

I know, I know, it's a little weird to wear fake glasses around for fun. If anything, it makes my already perfect vision worse because instead of seeing things normally, I'm now seeing them through a piece of cheap glass. It's just that, sometimes I miss wearing glasses.

And let me translate what "sometimes" means in this instance...I'm sometimes too lazy to put on mascara. I hate going out in public without having on at least a little mascara. I'll do it if I have to; I just don't prefer it. More specifically, I just don't operate in that realm of self confidence. So, sometimes, a faster solution than putting on mascara is putting on fake glasses. Not only do I appear more intelligent even though in actuality I'm just being super lazy, but my need for mascara has also been drastically minimized. Win win.

Now I know you're all thinking I'm super smart because this is such an easy idea and why didn't you think of it first, right? I'm telling you...it's the glasses. They make me smarter. If you want to just buy a fake pair of glasses too and never wear mascara again, I won't hold it against you. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, as they say.

It's hard to know what came first...my great glasses/no mascara idea or the glasses themselves. It's kind of like the whole chicken and the egg thing...............except mostly completely different and way less pertinent.