Monday, April 30, 2012

Avett Brothers

Can we just talk for a minute about how much I'm loving The Avett Brothers lately? And this sweet, sweet song (Part 2 is the tits...that's right, I said it)

It kind of makes me want to wear a shirt of the flannel persuasion, prance around in some skinny jeans, learn how to play a keyboard and grow some sick facial hair...wait, what?

Be Kind

Let's get serious for a moment.

Since the beginning of this year, a few people I know (some quite young) have passed away. Cancer, Suicide. It really goes to show that you never know what someone else is going through. The battles and struggles raging internally. Things can be quite different behind closed doors and seemingly happy smiles. And so, you can't know what it's like. Not really anyway. You're not there in the morning when their alarm goes off, and you're not there at the end of a long day when they fall into bed at night.

Sure, some people's problems may seem small compared to your own. And, perhaps they are. Perhaps their reality is skewed. But, the thing is, it doesn't make their problems feel any less so to them.

Or, on the other hand, perhaps their problems are in fact much larger than your own. Insurmountable in their eyes. By natural design, someone's always going to have it worse than you. It's easy to feel bad. It's easy to judge. It's easy to do pretty much anything except for be that person.

Sometimes things just suck and there aren't happy endings. Sometimes the endings are just inexplicably sad - plain and simple. Sure, there can be silver linings to every scenario, but sometimes it's damn near impossible to find them.

It reminds me of that saying..."Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Sunday, April 29, 2012


Before we delve into the streaking...I was at CVS this weekend when I found this little gem. Finally, a beauty product I can get behind! Ummm, NO. Seriously, what the fuck?! Who has eyelids so dirty or greasy that plain old water and soap (or makeup remover) just won't do? Who needs these?? I'd like to meet that person. Then, I can laugh in their face, examine their eyelids with a microscope, slap them a few times and set them straight. And, "great for travel"? Oh yeah, because I'm constantly ducking into the flipping bathroom to clean my damn eyelids before I board my flight. It's just been sooooo inconvenient and embarrassing until now! 

So strange.

I know the subject line of this post probably elicits a bit of excitement. However, I'm afraid it's not the type of streaking you're thinking of. I'm talking about a pink streak in my hair bitchesss. Since I'm 29, I decided it'd be great timing to dye a piece of my hair pink! If you're wondering if that's a 'cool' thing to do at this age, the answer is most obviously yes.

I got ombre highlights a few weeks back. If you don't know what that means, it basically translates to "color gradation". You leave your roots your natural color and then get the highlights near the middle of your hair with them tapering down and being the lightest at the bottom. The girl who did mine did an ok/pretty good job, so I can't really complain...especially considering I'm pretty sure this isn't a commonly requested technique by most of her usual 60-70 year old client base.

Sooo, since I already had the blonde highlights in there, I just took a took a little chunk of blonde hair kind of under the top layer and used a sophisticated pink hair dye some cherry Kool-Aid. What what! That's right. The last time I used this special little trick to dye my hair was literally in 7th grade when I had a retainer, Keds and scrunchies were cool. Or maybe those trends were 5th grade? Perhaps 7th grade was more like Pumas and Umbro shorts? I can't remember...I was wasted the whole time...kiiiiiidding.

So anyway, you boil some water, add the Kool-Aid (I used two little packets) and mix it around. I then put it in a bowl to make it easier to dip my hair in. You'll know you're making progress if, when you spill any of the piping hot Kool-Aid, it instantly stains your countertops. Good! It's all part of the process. I'm not sure why I'm explaining all if someone else is actually going to try this middle school project.

After a few minutes of having my head turned to the side and straining my neck, while my hair is resting strategically in a salad bowl, I was getting a little annoyed. So, my mom decided to help me by assembling what appears to be a little colonoscopy sack (sack pictured above) and securing it firmly to my scalp. In case you can't tell by the photo, it's some saran wrap and a chip bag clip.

The other thing I forgot to mention is be sure to wear one of your newer shirts that you really like. That way, it's a fun little game of seeing if you might ruin it or not. Luckily, that disgusting looking little sack pinned to my head was a lifesaver, and I didn't drip once!

The final product, aside from smelling like a delicious cherry coke and reliving your middle school glory days, is a lovely little streak of pink hair. I'm sure it will fade over time, but I actually got it to be the exact color I wanted (the photo makes it look a little more extreme than it actually is). What a fun little Sunday project for the whole family. So much better than boring church.

At the very least, if you're looking to remain single, it's a sure-fire way to success...which is obviously my goal, chaaaaaaaaaa.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Family Tattoos!

Here is a good picture that my brother created of our family tattoos! We all got them together, at the same place, on the same day - March 30, 2012 - my dad's birthday. They all have the same message, just different designs. It stands for Benjamin, Emily, Michael and Elizabeth...along with "Be Me" (i.e. Be Yourself). Try not to be too jealous ;-)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Working & Trying & Dating (Part 2)

This is what I looked like today while working. Not having a regular, full-time job definitely has its benefits! Sure, it looks like I'm at a bar at 3:30pm enjoying a margarita...because that's precisely what was happening. HOWEVER, my car was in for servicing, so I had like 3 hours to kill...just until the dealership had enough time to rack my total bill up to about $400. So see, I needed the booze (right before I was about to drive my car home...good planning...).

Seemingly, this was the theme of the week. And welp, now I know.

Part 2 of "Dating Sucks"...

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm on a free online dating site. I really don't get embarrassed too easily anymore and am kinda like an 'open book' nowadays. What a silly saying. Anyway, the whole ordeal is pretty funny. Let's be honest, if you're on an online dating site, you probably shouldn't be the pickiest person out there. However, it definitely makes me much pickier than I would be in normal, everyday life. In real life, if someone were close to 5'9", I'd maybe consider dating them if I liked the person. However, on the dating site, if someone is under 5'11", I literally scoff out loud and move on. And, that's just the height factor. There are plenty of other deal breakers in my mind (really religious, fat, smoker, any pictures that show you holding a gun, too many pictures of your stupid cats, too many basically nude photos of you in front of the mirror, any pictures of you kissing your bicep, etc. etc. etc.).

The thing that really ruffles my feathers is some of the god forsaken shit heads on this site. Here are some of my favorite examples:

~ Douche bag 1 - "I'm 28 and newly divorced. I was married for 8 years and have full custody of my daughter because dead beat moms suck!...LOL"
...ummm, WOW. I must have missed the punch line there because I'm definitely not laughing out loud. In fact, I'm crying.

~ Douche bag 2 - "I have to warn you, I'm a bit of a chunker!"
Gee, it's good you prefaced that in your profile because you looked so thin and in shape in your photos! I would have totally been fooled, and then wouldn't I feel silly?

~ Douche bag 3 - "I liek to have fun. Im a laidback dude. If your laidback too, hit me up."
Yeah, ok, because you really made a great impression with that stellar spelling and grammar.

~ Douche bag 4 - Has one blurry photo and no profile information filled out.
Who in the hell do you think is going to message you?

And, ok, here is what also annoys me. I somehow manage to scour a little bit and find some seemingly normal guys, so I message them. And then, I never hear back! Oh really, you're not a fan of tall, thin girls that are above average looking, never married, don't have kids, have a college education, etc. Really?! My mistake. So sorry to bother you. Please proceeeeeeeed. I know I sound egotistical, but I've seen some of my competition and it looks pretty grim. On the other hand, I receive a plethora of messages from guys I would never reply to in a million years.

Seriously though, I can't really complain. I've actually met some pretty nice guys.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


I'm really enjoying this blogging thing. Like, for realz. It's fun for me. I guess my fun threshold is pretty low. I don't have a ton of things that I really love or that I'm really good at (I tend to like lots of things a little bit). For example, I was on the JV tennis team in high school and I sometimes got to play. Story of my life. I wish I was reallyyy good at something, like being an excellent baton twirler or a siiiiick guitar player...but alas, I was a drop out flute player instead. Ah well, the good news is I'm getting too old to care now.

Anyway, I've always enjoyed writing, for as far back as I can remember. I just never really had a good outlet for doing so...until now. You lucky, lucky people. I try to make this blog an honest portrayal of who I am (without getting too personal)...sort of funny/sarcastic, serious/thoughtful at times (ugh, I think I'm being too serious/thoughtful lately...I guess it comes with the age), and I try to share some random tidbits of things I enjoy, etc. Hopefully I'm doing ok and not boring everyone to tears. Even if I am, who really cares? Don't read my blog then beotches!

Onto the previously aforementioned random tidbits:
~ I saw "The Lucky One" with Zac Efron this past weekend. Yeah yeah, keep the hilarious jokes to yourself. Once in a while, I like a good chick flick. I'm a freaking girl! Although it was obviously pretty predictable (oh, what's that you say, the girl's gonna fall in love in with Zac Efron? Really? I didn't see that coming), can we please talk about Zac for a second? When did he get so hot!?! What the fuck man. I knew the potential was there (ever since that movie "17 Again" or whatever it was called with Chandler Bing) but whoa. Isn't he like almost 10 years younger than me? Is this even appropriate to continue talking about?

~ This video is funny and you should watch it.

~ Somehow I came across this girl's blog one day, and I've been hooked ever since. It's sort of heavy most of the time, but it's all quite beautifully written. I really enjoy it. This particular post was really poignant.

~ I like these lyrics by Mumford & Sons.

~ Have you ever watched any Jenna Marbles videos? Omg, she's hilarious.

~ Why does Adele have like 5 overplayed songs on the radio right now? Each one more depressing than the last? Geeeeez. I'd like to make it through just one day without wanting to slit my wrists, but nooooo. Thanks for that Adele.

~ The dogs have basically completely stopped performing their tricks. Like, all the circumstances and the treats are exactly the same, but suddenly, they've both conveniently forgotten everything we've so painstakingly taught them. Or, they just don't give a crap anymore. It's kind of funny, if you find infuriating things funny.

Ok, I think that's enough random tidbits for now.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

7 months in Florida

So, it's been almost exactly 7 months that I've been living in Florida. WOW. Time really flies. The older I get, the quicker it goes right on by. Although I miss certain aspects of New England and being able to see friends easier, I'm glad to be in Florida right now. It's a nice change.

What a strange age and transitional time period though. People say high school is tough...yeah, sure, it is...but, at least you're super young and feel like you're on the brink of something. Late 20's to early 30's are weird. You're supposed to know who you are but still be're not supposed to have the infinite wisdom that only comes after years of more living. You're supposed to be somewhat established but not crazily so...maybe you've purchased a house or gotten a promotion. And, in most cases, you're supposed to be married or engaged or having kids or 3 kids, for that matter. I'm not saying that's what everyone is supposed to do because everyone is different, but it sure feels that way. It's what the majority of people do.

Although marriage would be a nice thought with the right person, kids aren't even on my radar right now. Sure, they're cute when they're all well behaved and dressed all spiffy, but that's only what they're like about 2% of the time. The other 98% of the time they're rolling around on the grocery store floor tantruming (yes, I just turned that into a verb) with a bright red face as tears stream down and strangers look on disapprovingly. Every time I see a scene like that I think, "Thank God". That sooo does not look fun. I don't have the energy or the will power for that right now.

But, I get why people have kids. Recently, at the pool, this super cute little girl was swimming with her mom. And, she yells over to her mom, "Mommy, I'm having so much fun! This is soooo fun Mommy!" And, in that moment, I understood. In the end, the wonderful parts of the 2% exceed the bad parts of the 98%.

Besides, if you've dated someone for a while and then have also been married for a while, what else is left to do besides have a kid to add in some additional element of 'fun'?

I'm not sure where I was going with this post. I think the basic gist was that it's strange to be somewhat newly single at 29, living with my parents, in a new state, etc. Lots of changes in these past 7-9 months. You never truly know where life is going to take you. I don't really believe that "everything happens for a reason" because to me that statement seems to mean that it's easy to submit and leave things up to fate. And, although unknown, fate-like factors can definitely come into play, I think you're largely in charge of your own destiny. The wheels are in motion.

Friday, April 20, 2012

i miss this

ah yes, these are the type of thought provoking exchanges i miss having in person vs. via text message!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Brett Dennen

Anyone that really knows me is privy to the fact that I'm slightly obsessed with Brett Dennen...he's a singer for those of you that don't know. It all started when I visited my friend Haley (who now lives in San Fran) in Santa Fe, NM. I think it was close to the year after my college graduation, so perhaps 2005 or 2006? She said we were going to go see a singer named Brett Dennen at some brewery/little live music venue near by and that I better listen to some of his music ahead of time. So, we listened to some iTunes of his first album. Well, I loved it, and then I loved the show even more...aside from all the hippies flitting around and swaying with no bras on and such. I was hooked.

Like little groupies, we then followed his band the next night to Albuquerque and saw him again. Serious groupie style too...1980 something or other boxy Volvo that couldn't go over 60 mph without shaking. We even had a pack of American Spirit cigarettes in tow. Serious business; we weren't messing around. This time we waited around after the show and got to talk to the band...uh, everyone, that is, except for Brett.

Now, he's not a looker by a long shot. Red hair, freckles, shakes his hips around like a child-bearing woman. He looks just like a stereotypical hippie. But, I don't know, I just loved his music from the get go. You know when you just love something from the very beginning without even trying and no matter what anyone says, it's not going to make a difference? That's what this is like. He has a very unusual voice and really meaningful lyrics.

I saw him those two times, one time at the "Life is good" festival in MA and then one other time at Toad's Place in New Haven, CT. I also "saw" him at another concert where he was the opener for John Mayer (who I don't even like). I put the word saw in quotes because I was too drunk to actually see him. I was probably just so excited at the prospect of seeing him that I got over zealous and decided to have the second most drunkest experience of my life. By the time he was on stage, I think I was far too consumed with the important task of eating my turkey sandwich on a random stoop somewhere. So, that kind of sucked...mostly for my friend. I obviously had a great time, because like I said, second drunkest experience ever...but, I was sad to miss out on Brett obvi.

I've heard his music a lot more lately...just yesterday at CVS actually. And, I've heard it being played in the mall and in TV shows/movies. Unlike with most artists, I literally know every single one of his songs. His newest album, Loverboy, is my favorite. Give him a listen!

a good song: Heaven
his website: Brett Dennen

Sunday, April 15, 2012


her head was slightly tilted to one side and her lips were lightly parted
oh no, here we go, she thought
she snapped her mouth shut

the beginning and the end
always the easiest parts to recollect
the middle?
remember this...enjoy this now
pockets of romanticism
that feeling, the levity
distorted reality can feel a lot like love

oh, the intricacies of a girl's mind

a dangerous little word
always purposefully but never intentionally

enough now


simply living
it'll have to do
it'll have to do for now

but, you can't ever feel the same way twice
and that's the toughest part, she thought

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My future wedding

Now I consider myself to be pretty romantic-minded, and I believe in all the fairytale notions. But unlike most girls, I haven't been planning my wedding since the age of 2.

I've gone to enough weddings to know that I definitely don't want a traditional one. For starters, I'm pretty sure that if I ever got married in a church, pigs would also be able to fly or hell would freeze over or I'd have turned into Cybil or something equally drastic. I actually wouldn't even be allowed to get married in a church because I've never been confirmed. That is totally fine by me though since I'm not religious anyway. At a Christian/Catholic wedding, I honestly have no clue if the woman is even marrying her soon to be husband or Jesus. Seems a lot more like Jesus. And, it seems like she's supposed to act a lot more like a quiet wallflower than an equal counterpart. I can't stand that stuff.

Secondly, weddings are so, all the same. Different churches and venues with the same types of dresses and flowers...just different colors and different expense levels. And, it's just so astronomically expensive and quick and so much planning. For one day - just like everyone else's. I know it's a special day but still. Geezus. I guess most girls want that day. That one day. I mean, I get it, I do. It's just not for me.

I picture my wedding to be less of a wedding and more of a giant flip cup tournament. Just kidding - sorta. If I were to plan my ideal wedding and the groom had no say in the matter (which, let's be honest, is pretty accurate), I'd get married barefoot on the beach or in the woods somewhere. It'd be strictly with close family members (including dogs) and very close friends. My dad would be the justice of the peace. My brother would walk me down the aisle. My mom and a couple of best friends would be the 'bridesmaids'. And, it'd be super simple and carefree. Maybe everyone would sit on hay bales. I don't know.

The 'reception' would just be a HUGE party with easy food and lots of kegs. And, there'd be a lot of little white lights...everywhere. Almost annoyingly so.

A bachelorette party is always a good excuse to have fun, but there would certainly be no bridal shower. Those are kind of a joke and not needed any more in this day and age.

The invitations would be evites in order to save on money and to be 'green'. The majority of money would be spent on a sick ass honeymoon to a tbd destination.

I don't think I'd even wear a white dress unless I could somehow alter my mom's. Maybe I'd wear a green one or a red one...but, not both those colors combined because that'd be Christmas colors and boy would that be dumb.

The photographer would be some friend that isn't allowed to drink that night and can only take photos. And, the music would be a lovely iTunes mix.

I'm not sure I'd even want a diamond engagement ring. I know I know, GASP, right? It's just that pretty much every girl gets a diamond engagement ring, so what's so special about that? I'd want something, don't get me wrong...just not sure it'd be diamonds.

Anyway, doesn't it all sound grand?

Oh, one minor detail. I reeeeeeeeeally want to get married on 12/12/12. That is the best date ever!!! It won't happen again, and I think that would be so awesome. So, I need to start dating someone really quickly, have a tumultuous love affair, get engaged and then plan my very specific wedding quite rapidly.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Remember this?

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

~Mary Schmich~

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Living in Florida

It's just like that feeling at the end of the college semester (or high school, for you slackers) right before summer when you're in the midst of finals week. You already know what I mean. You're right on the cusp of something really good. The breeze is lighter, the days are warmer, there's more hours of daylight, and "I feel home" by o.a.r. is the soundtrack in the back of your mind (if you're white). Summer is so highly anticipated.

I guess summer was always a bigger deal growing up in New England. A special little moment in time that was highly romanticized...but rightly so.

Maybe you'll lifeguard all summer and get really tan, maybe you'll go for long walks at night, maybe you'll go on wine tasting adventures, maybe you'll hike up to lookout towers, maybe you'll buy a hookah pipe, maybe you'll have a summer romance (or just make out awkwardly with a friend or two), maybe you'll play a million games of flip cup, maybe you'll swim til your arms are sore.

Maybe you'll remember why you loved summer so much in the first place.

But, that feeling. That's what living in Florida reminds me of. It's the best way I know how to describe it, anyway.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

10 things that are currently making me happy/thankful right now...

This is probably good to do about once a month, or maybe even once a week. Heck, perhaps every day if you're a real Debbie Downer type. I think it's good to be aware of the things you're thankful for and that make you happy because sometimes it can be oh so easy to forget. Here goes...

1) The obvious...Family...unconditional love is pretty amazing.

2) My best friend, Danielle. We've been friends ever since we were 16 and in a lifeguarding class together. We were partners and had to pretend we were 'drowning victims' and then save each other's lives. The rest is pretty much history, as they say. On so many different levels, we've been through a lot together over the years! These are random pictures from a Brett Dennen/John Mayer concert in 2007. We have no clue who the girl in the last two photos is, but it looks like we were pretty close friends that night!

3) Old photos to document drunken good times with friends :)

4) My new tattoo on my left wrist! "BE ME" which obviously stands for be yourself and also "Benjamin, Emily, Michael, and Elizabeth...our family :)

5) Bloody marys (and beer)!!!

6) Skinny jeans

7) The relentless Florida sunshine...a constant reminder of everything wonderful and a metaphor for how we should try to live our lives each day.

8) Apple products...thanks Steve!

9) Little love glances between husbands/wives or people in relationships when they think no one is looking. That kind of stuff really gets me. If you've had a crappy day or maybe you've just watched the god awful news and then you see something like that, it kind of sets the world back to neutral, if you know what I mean. I love people watching. About 75% of the time I'd say it's fairly disturbing, but the remaining 25% is pretty great.

10) My life, in general. I'm pretty happy with my overall self these days, and I'm also so fortunate and blessed to be able to live my particular life.

I know my posts are usually pretty hilarious since I'm such a natural comedian, and maybe this one is a little Emo, but deal with it!