My future wedding

Now I consider myself to be pretty romantic-minded, and I believe in all the fairytale notions. But unlike most girls, I haven't been planning my wedding since the age of 2.

I've gone to enough weddings to know that I definitely don't want a traditional one. For starters, I'm pretty sure that if I ever got married in a church, pigs would also be able to fly or hell would freeze over or I'd have turned into Cybil or something equally drastic. I actually wouldn't even be allowed to get married in a church because I've never been confirmed. That is totally fine by me though since I'm not religious anyway. At a Christian/Catholic wedding, I honestly have no clue if the woman is even marrying her soon to be husband or Jesus. Seems a lot more like Jesus. And, it seems like she's supposed to act a lot more like a quiet wallflower than an equal counterpart. I can't stand that stuff.

Secondly, weddings are so, all the same. Different churches and venues with the same types of dresses and flowers...just different colors and different expense levels. And, it's just so astronomically expensive and quick and so much planning. For one day - just like everyone else's. I know it's a special day but still. Geezus. I guess most girls want that day. That one day. I mean, I get it, I do. It's just not for me.

I picture my wedding to be less of a wedding and more of a giant flip cup tournament. Just kidding - sorta. If I were to plan my ideal wedding and the groom had no say in the matter (which, let's be honest, is pretty accurate), I'd get married barefoot on the beach or in the woods somewhere. It'd be strictly with close family members (including dogs) and very close friends. My dad would be the justice of the peace. My brother would walk me down the aisle. My mom and a couple of best friends would be the 'bridesmaids'. And, it'd be super simple and carefree. Maybe everyone would sit on hay bales. I don't know.

The 'reception' would just be a HUGE party with easy food and lots of kegs. And, there'd be a lot of little white lights...everywhere. Almost annoyingly so.

A bachelorette party is always a good excuse to have fun, but there would certainly be no bridal shower. Those are kind of a joke and not needed any more in this day and age.

The invitations would be evites in order to save on money and to be 'green'. The majority of money would be spent on a sick ass honeymoon to a tbd destination.

I don't think I'd even wear a white dress unless I could somehow alter my mom's. Maybe I'd wear a green one or a red one...but, not both those colors combined because that'd be Christmas colors and boy would that be dumb.

The photographer would be some friend that isn't allowed to drink that night and can only take photos. And, the music would be a lovely iTunes mix.

I'm not sure I'd even want a diamond engagement ring. I know I know, GASP, right? It's just that pretty much every girl gets a diamond engagement ring, so what's so special about that? I'd want something, don't get me wrong...just not sure it'd be diamonds.

Anyway, doesn't it all sound grand?

Oh, one minor detail. I reeeeeeeeeally want to get married on 12/12/12. That is the best date ever!!! It won't happen again, and I think that would be so awesome. So, I need to start dating someone really quickly, have a tumultuous love affair, get engaged and then plan my very specific wedding quite rapidly.