My Guy Requirements

I know I've talked a lot about Ryan Gosling and Tosh, but most likely, those are unrealistic expectations. I can only steep in such unbridled anticipation for so long. For now, here is a list of things that will suffice in my future perfect male specimen.

My Guy Requirements Strong Suggestions:

1) Taller than me

2) Not religious

3) Good sense of humor

4) At least mildly attractive (this does include not being really fat)

5) Have a degree and/or a decent job

6) Be a nice contributing member to society (or something??)

7) Non smoker and active

8) Please don't think it's fun to kill animals with a gun. Obviously the animal is going to lose...you HAVE A GUN

9) Know how to use a grill and maybe a power tool or two

10) Know the difference between there, their and they're (this is IMPORTANT!) I think it also goes without saying that I expect you to know how to read. Hmmm, maybe that should have been number 1...

Extra Brownie Points:

1) Likes dogs

2) Thinks the show "Modern Family" is funny

3) Has a beard

4) Flosses your teeth

5) Knows how to fix things...like, anything/everything

In Return, Here Is What I Will Provide For Little To No Money Down:

1) I will really look like I'm listening intently even if I'm not

2) I promise I'll try hard to move out of my parent's house before I turn 30

3) I'll show you how to load the dishwasher properly

4) I will cook dinner if you will wash the dishes

5) I'll keep everything clean and organized since I'm OCD

6) I'll try to 'put out'...maybe a lot in the beginning but probably only 1-3 times per week once things get serious

7) I'll chip in on my half of the bill

8) I'll wear make up...even on the weekends!

9) I will shave my legs at least once a week

10) I'll pretend to like your parents and no one will know the difference

11) I may decide that I want to have a child/children sometime before the age of like 35

12) I'll try to leave my work outfit on for at least an hour after you get home before putting on something pretty hideous

13) I'll let you beat me at any sport

14) I'll let you pick the movie 50% of the time

Well, that's a good start. So, why am I single!?