Homework

Lately, when I've been thinking about what to write about in my blog, it feels more akin to a homework assignment than something enjoyable. It's hard to find that happy medium between not writing about anything too personal/sentimental/boring, and yet, on the other hand, not offend people with a slew of completely inappropriate ramblings. Cuz I could be sooo good at that. Now, I know I need to placate all my wonderful darlings that follow me on here, but you might just have to suffer a little bit from time to time. Because I'm only going to write when some random nugget pops into my little pea head or when I'm reallyyy bored or maybe when I'm drunk...time will tell!

For today...
I'm reading this book called "I hope they serve beer in hell" by this disgusting author man...and I'm not even going to mention his stupid name because based on the book, I, and every other girl on the planet, hate him. I think even a lot of guys would hate him instead of giving him high fives. Basically, the whole gist of the book is how he's a soulless, spineless, gross, vulgar, raunchy, lots of other bad adjectives, expletives thrown in there, etc. person. Like, I'm literally surprised a random, crazy girl (or a sane one) hasn't murdered him yet. Or, I'm surprised his own mother hasn't. The book is that bad. It's all about his sex-capades, his terrible work ethic, his general laziness, his alcoholic drinking, how he thinks he is awesome, how all his friends are huge douche-bags, etc. It's hard to even accurately describe the filth that fills the pages until you read about all the asinine shit he has done...but, just to summarize a teeny bit, it's a myriad of situations like getting a blow job on the toilet while shitting, crapping all over himself/the toilet/floor and running around a hotel lobby with shit smeared in every which way, crapping/throwing up/popping in a breath mint/drinking some more alcohol/having sex with multiple girls in one night, getting wasted and having sex with his boss, crashing random people's cars into stores while drunk/throwing the keys into the woods/running away from the scene, etc etc etc. All lovely scenarios unfolding in that manner. One.chapter.after.the.next. God awful. He's had sex with well over 100 girls and should probably be dead. It's even on the NY Times Best Seller list, and apparently he has more books. Wtf?! I guess I can somewhat understand the appeal, because even though I'm not reading the book too quickly, I'm still reading it. Like a fucking idiot. I'm not sure why. I guess because it's hard to believe that someone could act like that and then also proudly write a book about it. So, it's like a bad car accident...or something. Orrrrr (more likely), I'm just stubborn and don't like not reading a book from beginning to end.

At any rate, it's gross, don't read it. If you do, it will kill your soul a little bit.