Sorry Sap

lately, i've been a big sap (i'm not using capital letters today because i don't feel like it). i guess i always have been in some ways, but it's getting worse over time. i think it's hereditary. my nana used to be the worst about it. she couldn't even look at happy photos or the inside of seemingly ordinary greeting cards without getting all teary eyed, waving her hands about, and exclaiming "i can't!" it grew to be expected and was kind of a running joke in our family. now it's been passed down to my mom and yes, even me. the funny thing is, my brother always gets the most sentimental cards for my mom and writes her the nicest messages...as if he's on his death bed...as if he's trying to get her to cry. at least i'm sensitive enough to write "love ya bitch!" in her cards.

when i'm looking at nice cards in the store (ya know, just my usual thursday night routine), i can get teary-eyed pretty easily...even if the card is super gay (sorry if you're gay and reading this and this isn't the proper use of the word...get over it). if it's too long and all script-y, forget it. or, if it's too jesus-y, forget it. but, by golly, if it's just the right length and has a sweet, pure message, i'm done. time to head over to the tissue aisle.

same thing with movies, obviously. animals dying in movies is the worst. humans dying? that depends. depends how much character development has occurred and how far along the plot is. or how hot the actor is. 

and that fucking sarah mclaughlin commercial with that horrid song "arms of the angel" or some shit, NOT OKAY! do they really need to show that dog with only one eye and even that god forsaken one eye is bulbous and doesn't look healthy in the least. the dog's one eye is bad. please. i can't watch. i change the channel immediately. i've seen the whole thing, and that's something i'd rather not witness ever again. i know what the message is, it's quite clear...it's just so freaking sad. i would literally kill everyone that ever treated a dog badly. ok, maybe not "literally" because i don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison getting raped, but i'd at least injure them severely. an eye for an eye. get it? not the best joke at this time :(

one time at a wedding, there was a slideshow of the bride and groom throughout the years. all these happy, wonderful, glowy pictures. HOLY FUCK! are you serious?? why are you doing this to me?! slideshows kill me. photos kill me. let's mix the two together and really eff you up! i was sobbing by the end. my dad literally had to take me outside and have a talk with me. probably not his proudest moment. or mine, for that matter. someone was like "why are you crying"? (i.e. what the hell is your problem? why are you inappropriately crying on the happiest day of someone's life?) i was like, "i don't know, i guess i'm really happy?" my poor dad.

i think i've proven my point.